


And the Pain Returns

by scarcelyMischievous



Series: Defector and Scoundrel [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (Please tell me what else I should tag this as), Arguments, Ben doesn't actually hurt Hux, Flashbacks, Force-encouraged Trauma, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Past Torture, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:04:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7690903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarcelyMischievous/pseuds/scarcelyMischievous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a mission nearly goes terribly wrong, Hux confronts Ben and they get into a heated argument. After nearly witnessing one of Ben's tantrums, though, Hux can't help but remember the time he saw him that angry-- when he was supposed to be executed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And the Pain Returns

**Author's Note:**

> (this was hastily written, so I apologize in advance)

“What the hell were you _thinking?!”_

 

Hux stormed across the clearing hangar as Ben was climbing out of his X-Wing and taking his helmet off. He looked over at Hux and frowned, as if he expected this confrontation. After the stunt he tried to pull, Hux sure as hell hoped he did.

 

“I don't want to hear it,” Ben muttered, trying to go past Hux. The other grabbed his wrist, preventing him from leaving. Ben nearly growled and wretched his hand away, glaring down at Hux. “What?!”

 

Hux frowned, an uneasy feeling pooling in his stomach at Ben's anger, but he was too frustrated himself to stop. “How many times do you need to act so reckless out there? What are you trying to prove?”

 

“I completed the mission,” Ben argued.

 

“You nearly got yourself and six other pilots _killed,_ that's what happened!” Hux yelled. “You took too many risks out there, Ben, and you nearly threw the entire mission's objective straight out the window!”

 

“I did what was necessary!” Ben said, dropping his helmet. “I'd like to see you out there risking your life, only to have your efforts and your success belittled!”

 

Hux swallowed thickly, clenching his fists. “That wasn't you out there,” he said as he attempted to keep his voice steady. “Yes, you can be reckless. But you wouldn't risk the lives of other people. Be honest with me Ben. Were you even in your right mind?”

 

“The hell is that supposed to mean?!” Ben demanded, and the look on his face-- it was actually enough to scare Hux. He backed away, but Ben only moved forward. “Are you implying something, _Armitage?_ You turning into my father? Into my uncle? You don't _trust me?_ ‘That wasn't me’-- then who the pfassk else was it?! Don't tell me you think I'm the next Vader too?!”

 

He raised his hand, and Hux knew it was only to run it through his hair. It was what he always did when he was frustrated. But that was when it clicked in his mind what he was remembering.

 

The pain, the torture, seeing Ben's face in front of him as he was forced to suffer Naos Ren’s administrations. And Hux tried to convince himself through the entire thing that it wasn't really Ben but it was all too _real._ The look of anger on his face, the very same it was now, the harsh tone _(“Suffer.”)_ he used was the same now, everything was the same--

 

Without even realizing, backed into a wall, Hux covered his face and cowered away from Ben. “I-I’m sorry,” he said, letting out a whimper. “I'm sorry, please don't hurt me, _please--”_

 

Ben, who had just been absolutely furious, was now looking down at Hux with sudden concern. “Hux, what…” He tried to reach out to Hux, but the other only flinched away. It took longer for Ben to realize why Hux was acting this way, but once it came to him and immediately backed away, placing his hands over his mouth, shame washing over his features as well as worry. “Oh. Oh kriff, Hux, no…”

 

Hux choked back a sob as the memories of all the pain flooded into his mind. It was all too vivid, and he would have bet that it was so realistic because Naos intended it to always be there to haunt him. Of course, he couldn't let him leave with just _normal_ trauma; oh no, it had to be as if he were experiencing it all over again, and it had to be set off by the one person he actually _loved--_

 

His knees grew weak, but before they buckled underneath him, Ben caught him with strong but gentle arms. He buried his face in Hux's messy hair, whispering sweet nothings to him in an attempt to calm him down. It was only when Hux felt Ben's familiar presence in his mind, soft and comforting, that he started to ease a little. Ben was doing his best--and luckily, succeeding--in pushing any pain Naos had instilled for a while.

 

Tears were streaming down Hux's face, but he was able to steady his breathing, clinging tightly onto Ben as the other cradled him. “I'm sorry, Evan,” he whispered, sounding like he was about to cry as well. “I didn't-- Fuck, I didn’t mean to get angry. I’m sorry. I won’t do anything so stupid again, okay? Everything’s going to be fine. I’m not gonna hurt you. You know that, right? Please tell me you know that. I’ll do anything and everything to protect you and keep you safe, Evan, _I promise.”_

 

Hux sniffled and looked up at Ben. He didn’t look like the illusion he saw back on the Finalizer. He looked like how he always did; boy-ish with traces of arrogance and insecurity bundled up in one bulky man. This was the Ben he knew, the one that saved him from the very torture he felt like he was enduring just now. He buried his face in Ben’s torso, and the arms around him tightened, as if afraid everything would fall to pieces if he let go.

 

“I’m sorry,” Ben whispered again, kissing the top of his head.

 

Hux pulled away just slightly to hastily rub the tears out of his eyes. He was trembling, but Ben was making it easier to cope with. “Y-You’re not at fault,” he said hoarsely, leaning back into the safety of Ben’s embrace. “Just...J-Just shut up and keep doing what you’re doing. With the Force, o-or whatever, please, just keep doing it--”

 

“Shh, shh. Of course. Anything you need,” Ben assured, and Hux felt the soothing presence in his mind grow stronger, until all of the pain was gone and he felt Ben all around him.

 

He let out a weak sigh and nuzzled against Ben. “Let’s rest. We need it. Please.”

 

Ben nodded and carefully picked up Hux bridal style, with no complaints from the smaller man. Later, they would hand in the reports of the latest mission, make preparations for any upcoming ones, and do whatever else was necessary for the Resistance to move forward. But for now, they would rest in each other’s arms and revel in the warmth between them. Ignore the feeling of a darker future, just for a little while longer.


End file.
